The Quiet Road

Yeah. Another meme. Sorry about that. This time it’s from here. It’s a long list of stuff that you copy and then highlight the ones you’ve done… adding comments should you feel so inclined.

I’m not entirely sure why it caught my eye, but I’ve no intention of inflicting it on anyone else… 150 items? It’s kind of over the top. But it’s been ticking over in my ‘drafts’ for a couple of weeks, getting added to whenever I run out of steam on another piece.

So I may as well dump it on the website now before unleashing my next pseudo-philosophical musings on you my dear, long-suffering, reader. Without further ado…

1. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
   More than once. Though usually – thank christ – in countries where you don’t need to take out a mortgage to get involved in pissed-up extravagance of that sort.
2. Swam with wild dolphins
3. Climbed a mountain
4. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
5. Been inside the Great Pyramid
   I became incredibly claustrophobic and didn’t stay long.
6. Held a tarantula
7. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
8. Said ‘I love you’ and meant it
9. Hugged a tree
   More than that, I even wrote a haiku about it… Middle-aged couple / discover me tree-hugging / all a bit awkward
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper
    It was an emergency and I was the only person available. I don’t think I did the best job in the world, but I did at least use the word “nappy” and not “diaper”. Fricking Americans!
21. Taken a trip on a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Got drunk on champagne
    I no longer drink… booze just doesn’t do it for me anymore. But I’ve got the kind of curious nature that’s meant I’ve been drunk at least once (and ususally only once) on just about every drink you care to mention.
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
    ha… ahh ha ha ha! One day I’ll tell that story.
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
    Never got a response in the affirmative, mind.
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
    Well, it was damn near total… ninety-something percent… London about six years ago.
34. Ridden a roller coaster
    But man do I hate the things. I prefer to get my ‘intense experience kicks’ in other ways.
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
    Pretty much every time I’m moved to dance actually.
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
    I was Scottish for a day while my Scottish friend was Irish. Leastways that was the theory… I think most of the time we were both Welsh-Pakistani.
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
    Hell yeah! Lots and lots of moments. Without wishing to be too gloomy, it has been a fairly long while though.
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
    Right now I’ve got three. But what’s that got to do with anything?
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was shit faced
    Yup. And I think… if I worked it out… I must be at least breaking even in the “had to be taken care of” Vs. “taken care of someone else” stakes (which is – as everyone knows – the only test that matters when St. Peter decides whether to let you into heaven or not).
42. Had amazing friends
    All my friends are amazing! (you’ve no idea how far an attitude like that goes when you’re asking to borrow money).
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
    Yup. And I’ve danced with a foreigner in a strange country as well.
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
    A sign? ‘A’ sign, you ask? Myself and A.R. stripped an entire suburb of road signs one drunken teenage night and placed them all in a local (drained) pond. To this day I’ve no recollection of the moment we decided on that mission, but I’d love to recall the conversation that led up to it.
46. Backpacked in Europe
    Technically every time I go to the shop.
47. Taken a road-trip
    Starting to get a bit mundane now…
48. Gone rock climbing
    … I mean, ever climbed some rocks? What’s that all about…? Seriously, what’s next? ‘Ever eaten some food?’
49. Midnight walk on the beach
    Oh come on!
50. Gone sky diving
    Ah, now we’re in better territory. Of course I’ve never gone sky-diving. I’m not a freaking nutter! The decision to jump out of a plane is – inherently – one you take as a matter of absolute last resort.
51. Visited Ireland
    Clearly not expecting too many Irish respondents to this wee quiz.
52. Been heartbroken for longer than when you were in love
    What? You mean it can pan out any other way? Really?
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your cds
    Oh man, you wouldn’t believe the time I’ve spent re-ordering my music collection. The male brain has an inbuilt tendency towards autism… and that’s where I let that little side of me run riot.
57. Pretended to be a superhero
    Yes. But I was, what? 6 years old at the time?
58. Sung karaoke
    No. And I never will. People don’t understand my objection to this… I don’t have a freakishly objectionable singing voice or anything. It’s just, when you’ve heard ‘Love Will Tear Us Apart’ butchered by an angry red-faced drunken middle-aged wino in a Cricklewood pub, the whole notion of karaoke loses its innocence and becomes something dark and unpleasant, filling your memory with little links and associations that you never asked for and can never ever escape.
59. Lounged around in bed all day
    If whoever compiled this quiz had been really hardcore they’d have specified a week! That’d separate the men from the boys.
60. Posed nude in front of strangers
    I posed nude (in crucifiction pose no less) for an artist when I was at college. But she wasn’t a stranger. I guess it all depends on your definition of “posed”. I was filmed by a van-load of policemen running nude across a bridge. It’d be stretching it to describe that as “posing” though.
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
    When I was living near Chicago I hung out a few times at an old abandoned drive-in. It had an incredibly apocalyptic atmosphere and I was vibing on that at the time. Never saw a movie at a drive-in though.
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
    More than once.
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
    You’re shitting me right? That really happens?
69. Toured ancient sites
    Oh yeah, I’ve contributed to ‘tourist erosion’ at ancient sites all over the world. The Great Pyramids beat the rest hands-down. Sorry, but that’s just the way it is. I dig lots of others too, don’t get me wrong. But the pyramids are a bit fricking special.
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
    Probably. But I wasn’t a D&D geek for very long before my music-geekness kicked in and I stopped having time for anything that didn’t involve loud guitars and beer.
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
    I was an extra in some WW2 mini-series starring Kenneth Branagh. Can’t even recall the name of the thing. I was a British soldier dying in the background. I’ve also been in a couple of low-budget student films. I was credited as “The Hippy” in the first and “Stoned man” in the second. Arguably the roles didn’t stretch my acting abilities all that much.
74. Crashed a party
    I’ve crashed a fair few parties. Though none recently.
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
    I’ve made them from other things too.
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an “expert”
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
    I was a fully fledged carnivore up until my 16th birthday. Ate a lot of stuff that makes me think “hmmmmmm, not sure about that” these days.
88. Had a one-night stand
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
    Not exactly. But we did get occasional bomb-threats in some of the countries I grew up in. My dad worked for a high-profile US corporation in some places where anti-American feeling could get violent. Mind you, this was back in the 80s… I suspect the kids attending (for instance) Cairo American College today are experiencing a whole other level of paranoid weirdness.
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
    For all the more like ‘jazz heaven’ from Stardust Memories.
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
    And my second-favourite, and my third-favourite, and bands that probably struggle to make the top 20 these days.
98. Created and named your own constellation of stars
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
     I was a motorist for about a year and a half in my late teens. Where possible I’ve done my best to avoid cars since then. However, during that brief time, it’s fair to say that I was rarely in the car without either Bowie or Talking Heads playing right at the edge of distortion volume. And it would be rare indeed if I wasn’t singing along. These days I must content myself with singing along at home… I still don’t give a toss if anyone’s looking.
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived.
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
     Remember the dot-com boom? And the biotech boom? A chimp with smack habit could’ve made money in the stock market in the late 90s. I did anyway. Round about mid-2000 however I heard about a small UK tech start-up that was having its IPO. They were going to be the next big thing. They worked in the field of nano-grinding and I believed they were absurdly underpriced. Turns out they were absurdly overpriced. I lost a wee bit more than 100 pounds.
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
     Huh? Well, I’ve talked people down from some seriously bad trips. Does that count?
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Petted a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
     Been stabbed. Does that count?
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
     Never in anger I’m happy to say.
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
     Wellllllll….
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
     That’s the only kind of surgery I’ve ever had! Minor surgery is when it’s happening to someone else (to steal a line).
120. Had a snake as a pet
     Anyone with reptiles or insects for pets needs to deal with their issues in a more healthy way. And pet birds are pretty damn borderline. Though fishtanks I kind of understand on a purely aesthetic level. Sorry but there you have it. Pets are about companionship. Companionship implies empathy. Empathy with non-mammals is pretty fricking weird in my book. I’m not saying repressive legislation needs to be drafted to deal with these people or anything. Don’t get me wrong. I’m just suggesting they wear some form of identification so the rest of us can shun them.
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
     A question restricted to the handful of scientists stationed in Antarctica. Talk about exclusive!
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
     Not high on my list of favourite foods I have to say.
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Petted a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad and the Odyssey
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read their work
     Not quite sure I understand this.
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
     Indeed. Mackerel. I have caught, gutted and pan-fried them over an open fire.
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
     Sadly not in a good way.
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life