tag: Blog stuff



4
Feb 2007

New look! Same old crappy content

I figured I’d herald my return from the darkness with a bright new template. All white and simplified. It’s modelled on certain parts of the US deep south. I’ve tested the template in the latest versions of the main PC Browsers. Now, I don’t care what browser you use. I’m fairly agnostic about the whole thing these days. I personally use Firefox, but both Internet Explorer and Opera are perfectly decent pieces of software that do the job. That is… assuming you’re using the latest version.

You see, while I’m fairly agnostic about which browser a person chooses, I have little time for those who insist upon using a four-year-old version. Web technology is simply changing too fast, and I can no longer be arsed expending the time and effort ensuring that my website looks good in Internet Explorer 5.5. If someone wishes to pay me lots of money for that kind of ridiculous code hacking, then all well and good, but I can think of better things to be doing with my spare time (watching paint dry for instance).

Anyway, you can find the latest version of each browser here…

If you like Firefox, then for god’s sake upgrade to version 2… it’s a painless process and makes you that little bit more friendly to website creators. If you’re a fan of Internet Explorer, then the decision to upgrade to version 7 is a no-brainer. It’s about a gazillion times more secure (according to the latest independently verified tests), has a bunch of new stuff (new, unless you’ve used Firefox or Opera) and is without a doubt the best browser Microsoft have yet to foist upon us. As for Opera… the new version dispenses with the annoying in-browser adverts / sponsorship and has lots of other neat bits and pieces that you’ll be amazed you ever lived without.

If you’re on the Mac, however, then I can’t help you. Nor do I have much sympathy for you. “Oooooh, but Jim, the website doesn’t look right on my absurdly bulbous orange screen”. “Really? Well that’s ‘cos you have a bloody stupid computer. And a crap haircut too.” Seriously though folks; if there’s any glaring problems with the template or just comments / suggestions about it, then don’t be shy.

Windows Vista?

Whaddya think? I really want to install it (and it’s just a download from Microsoft) but I’m not sure if I should.

Pros: It’s new. It’s shiny. Did I mention that it’s new?

Cons: It might well be crap. It costs money. It doesn’t really do anything I can’t make XP do if I could be arsed.

But it is new. And it’s shiny. And that’s an awful temptation when it comes to computer operating systems. It’s less of a temptation with, say, vintage wines… so it’s not a universal recommendation by any means, but new generally means better when it comes to software (and yes, we can all name the myriad exceptions to that rule, but does anyone really want to go back to Windows 3.1 or Mac OS 2?). Hmmm… well, I’m resisting the temptation so far. I’ve rationalised it thusly; why not wait until the first time Vista can do something XP can’t (which will probably be when Alan Wake is released in a couple of months time).

But of course… then it won’t be so new anymore, and it’ll probably look a bit less shiny too… who knows… perhaps I’ll download it tomorrow…

14 comments  |  Posted in: Announcements


30
Nov 2006

Blog comments

Just a wee bit of blog administrivia. Some of the older posts on this site are generating quite absurd quantities of comment spam. I’m talking about several hundred pieces of spam per day per post. In order to save myself the bother of scanning through them all to find the occasional first-time commentator requiring approval I’ve decided to close the comments facility on any post that hasn’t received a comment for a couple of months.

In the unlikely event, dear reader, that you wish to comment on one of these posts, then simply post the comment on a more recent post with an explanatory sentence about where it should go. I’ll then shift the comment to that item and re-open the comment facility.

There’ll be one or two exceptions… the posts that generate most of my google traffic will retain the comment facility where possible.

Bastid spammers!

Leave a comment  |  Posted in: Announcements


29
Nov 2006

Retract and be damned!

A fellow blogger has been threatened with legal action for libel. In the following piece, all names and any specifics are entirely fictional (except the bit about Oliver Kamm which is true). I’ve no intention of writing anything that could identify the blogger, the person making the legal threats or the controversial claims that caused the fuss. That said, I’m going to set the scene…

I’m an occasional reader of Bob’s blog. He’s got a nice way with words. Also, we were on the same polo team in Singapore in the mid 1980s. About three months ago an article appeared in a magazine detailing the behaviour of a well-known businessman. Bob quoted this article in a short blog post and thought nothing further of it. Two and a half months later, Hello magazine backed down and published a retraction. They admitted they had no evidence – beyond hearsay – that Sir Digby Jones had “gotten off” with a goat during a recess at the recent CBI conference.

Bob noted this with interest but was still surprised when Sir Digby dropped him an email demanding that he remove his post citing the offending article. If he didn’t, then legal action would swiftly follow.

Now, because of who I am, my initial response was “Screw the bastid!” Don’t remove the offending post, I urged Bob, until someone is literally holding a gun to your head. It’s probably not worth dying over, but it’s certainly worth getting aggressively self-righteous about. No question there.

What you have to understand is that – in my own weird little world – “suing for libel” is only a notch or two above “mugging old ladies for spare change”. It’s essentially setting the rozzers on someone for calling you names. I mean, when it boils down to it, that’s what’s going on. Yes, yes, yes, there’s a million legitimate reasons right? What if the libel ruins your business or makes you unemployable or upsets your mother…? Well look, I’m not saying that having lies told about you can’t be damaging… even ruin a life. Yes that can happen. And that’s wrong and horrible. But I’m a moral absolutist. You know that by now, dear reader, and whatever the circumstances I think you’re pondscum if you set the police on someone for writing something.

Corporations, incidentally, are fair game. You understand that right? Use whatever means necessary to kick Big Media in the balls. Lawsuits, boycotts, petrol-bombs… whatever’s to hand really. But you just don’t threaten another person with the police for something they say. That should be part of the implied social contract we each have with one another. It’s extremely bad form. Which isn’t to say you should take it lying down. When Oliver Kamm called me a Nazi-sympathiser on a public website the idea of suing for libel would have been absurd. Instead I decided to call him a kook and a tosser and point out that I wouldn’t piss on him if he was on fire and he’s got a stupid head, roughly once every three months for the rest of my life.

None of which is very relevant, but it’s nearly three months since I made fun of Kamm so I wanted to shoe-horn it in somehow.

Anyway, Bob doesn’t want to take down the piece. And quite aside from my “screw you” gut reaction, I don’t think he should either. You see there’s an issue here that needs debating, and maybe even something worth taking a principled stand over. And it’s got nothing to do with whether or not Digby Jones enjoys kissing goats.

The Memory Hole

You didn’t think I’d go the whole month without an Orwell reference now, did you? In Nineteen Eighty Four the memory hole is where all the little bits of un-news get placed when The Party makes a revision. So a war hero who later speaks out against Big Brother not only disappears, but finds himself removed from history. The books and newspapers are all recalled and alterations made. Entire wars get sent to the memory hole.

To the furnace.

I’m not suggesting that this particular instance of alleged libel has a great deal of political or historical import. But while ‘Hello’ magazine have published a retraction in the current issue, they’ve not been required to somehow recall every offending copy and modify it. There’s no army of temps scouring doctors’ waiting rooms as I write this, desperately snipping out the libellous paragraph… removing it from all but imperfect memory.

Similarly, I don’t see why a blog should be forced to alter its past “issues” rather than merely publish a current retraction. Digby Jones isn’t denying that the allegation was made, merely that it’s wrong. Insisting that the thing is erased from history is absurd. Bob should post a retraction and an apology. As a compromise he should also post a prominent link to that apology from the article in question. Insisting upon anything more is using the tactics of The Party.

Initially I tried to argue that expecting Bob to remove his article from the web was oddly akin to asking a big-circulation magazine to do a recall of a three-month-old issue. With google-cache keeping a copy of web content and sites like archive.org doing their thing, it’s clear that Bob no longer has control over the piece once it’s been distributed. It’s unreasonable, therefore, to even ask him to try to “recall” the post.

Once I’d made that argument, however, someone pointed out that google-cache refreshes itself eventually and archive.org tends not to grab blogs. So when I say “sites like archive.org”, which ones do I mean? Off I went to take a look…

And I have to admit there aren’t as many as I expected there to be. Certainly far less than there used to be. I can remember a number of different sites that archived huge chunks of the web and offered specialised indexing and searching. I guess google has killed them all off as only alexa.com seem to be still in the business. Now, the fact that even one such service exists may be enough to prove the point, but I accept that could be reaching a wee bit. So if anyone is aware of any such archive sites or services then I’d be interested to hear about them. Otherwise it’s maybe not a valid argument.

Although I guess I could put my money where my mouth is and set up a mirror of Bob’s site on a webhost in Brazil (actively and explicitly against Bob’s wishes of course so that he has no culpability). Nobody in their right mind – no, not even Digby Jones – would try to sue a resident of Ireland, from the UK, for a minor act of libel occurring on a website in Brazil. Even I don’t have that kind of free time on my hands.

You see, if nothing else, the “libellous” piece is now sitting in the browser-caches of a whole bunch of visitors to Bob’s site. Some people regularly clear their caches, but others don’t. Some people will even save a copy of a controversial page to their hard-drive just to demonstrate the point that once published, Bob no longer has control over what happens to his page.

I admit it… I’m actively searching for a rationale for a gut feeling here. It’s clear that Bob has far more control over his post-distributed content than ‘Hello’ does. Maybe even enough control to make a decent case that removing it from his website will remove it from the web.

But again, I just feel uncomfortable about removing something published months ago in a periodical. It’s insisting upon more than a traditional “public apology and retraction”… it’s an attempt to falsify an historical record. And whatever one may think about Bob’s blog, or blogs in general, there’s something just not right about that.

The trouble with all of this is the fact that bloggers can, and often do, habitually edit past entries for all manner of (usually perfectly innocent) reasons. So maybe it’s all just a load of bollocks really. Nonetheless, suing someone for libel is a low and nasty thing to do. That much is still true.

12 comments  |  Posted in: Opinion


28
Nov 2006

The Blog Digest 2007

For those awaiting my review of The Beatles LOVE, let me assure you that it is on the way. See, I’d been writing for a while before I realised – after about a thousand words – that I’d not yet mentioned the new album, and had instead spent a thousand words telling you just how much I like The Beatles. Which isn’t really news. And can be done in a lot less than a thousand words. So I’m going to have another go at it sometime soon. Until then you’ll have to put up with some other stuff. I’m almost finished a controversial rant about multiculturalism. So that’ll be fun.

This morning a heavy thump from the letterbox heralded the arrival of The Blog Digest 2007. It’s a hefty tome being flogged for a reasonable price, and according to the back cover it “is the ultimate anthology of blog writing from the last twelve months. From searing topical commentary to hilarious musings on modern life…” Hmmmm… I have real trouble recommending a book that describes itself as “hilarious”. It’s not a word that should ever be self-applied. You may as well tattoo “tries too hard” on your forehead and be done with it. Metaphorically.

However, it’s edited by Justin of Chicken Yoghurt which is a significant point in its favour. Also, a brief flick through has revealed plenty of stuff from people on my blogroll, including Merrick, so it’s certainly got that going for it. However, there’s also a couple of submissions from this very blog which may well put off the more discerning reader. I can only assure you that a thick black marker pen will – in very little time – rectify this. I believe many retailers are including just such a pen in the price of the book. Shop around.

It was quite horrifying reading those couple of pieces as it happens. As I always seem to be saying… context is everything. When you arrive at this blog, dear reader, you quickly get a feel for what’s going on… it’s all very loose and casual; sometimes I talk about matters of life and death… sometimes wordplay is as important as what’s being said… sometimes it’s not obvious which is which. I rant, I vent neuroses and once in a while I say something worth listening to. And – if my stats are accurate, for about a hundred people – it works. What little sense exists here comes through an understanding of the context. Leastways, I think.

The discomfort I felt reading my work in The Blog Digest is precisely what prevents me posting on The Sharpener for instance, much as I’d like to expand my audience a little. Viewed in the right context, my blog-writing-style allows me to occasionally get across something worth reading. When placed into the context of semi-mainstream journalism though…? Well, let’s just say I’m not sure it works.

That said, there’s a hell of a lot of good writing to be found within the book, and it’s well worth checking out. As I say, half my blogroll is in there… so clearly it’s writing I recommend.

Leave a comment  |  Posted in: Announcements


25
Nov 2006

Let's try that again…

I spoke too soon. Within hours of proclaiming myself back online, my swanky new graphics card gave up the ghost. I’m now using a very old (borrowed… thanks K) card until a replacement swanky one is dispatched by the shop. I understand, of course, that ATi can’t individually test every card that comes off the assembly line for several days to see if there’s any flaws in the chip (which will be revealed only after the GPU heats up and cools down a few times through regular use). That doesn’t stop it being a right royal pain in the arse when you get sent a dud though.

Anyways, during my extended absence from the internet (that word is only one and a half letters away from ‘internment’, y’know) I generated a lengthy backlog of emails which I’ve now pretty much caught up with. If you’re reading this and are expecting a reply to an email, could you please resend it as you wouldn’t believe the amount of spam I received, and I was getting pretty damn cavalier with the delete button at a few points there.

But among the emails I received were several containing links to interesting stuff. And some of those are worth sharing.

First up is this piece on Wolves and Dogs (via Gyrus). The notion of a “mutual domestication” process between man and dogs/wolves isn’t new. It’s covered quite well, for instance, in Colin Tudge’s essential So Shall We Reap (and when I say “essential”, that’s not just hyperbole… I mean “please go and buy the book now and read it”. Seriously. Go and do it). But Jason Godesky’s article takes the idea to some surprising places. It’s well-researched and coherent. Some of the conclusions he draws are perhaps a bit further out than I’d be willing to go, but interesting stuff nonetheless.

Next, something silly… the Notepad Secret Trick video. For those without Windows XP to try this on, I can assure you that it’s completely accurate. If you save a file in Notepad containing the words “Bush hid the facts”, it will be scrambled into an unreadable character set when you reopen it. Just imagine trying to explain the online video demonstrating this little oddity to someone living 150 years ago. If nothing else, technology has made the word a far weirder place.

And for that, I salute it.

Mahalia sent me this wonderful News In Brief item from consistently funny, The Onion. I’m not sure there’s been a single issue of The Onion that hasn’t had at least one thing in it that made me laugh. And I’ve been reading it for almost a decade. Outstanding stuff.

From R.A., YouTube (of course) have the promo-video for Spearhead‘s “I Know I’m Not Alone” (the single from the sublime Yell Fire! album). The song itself is a wee bit Michael Franti goes U2, and perhaps not entirely typical of Spearhead, but still a groovy tune. I mention this primarily as Spearhead are touring Europe again during the first half of December (full dates) including Saturday the 2nd in Dublin! Yay!

By the way, I’ve spent most of this week listening to “LOVE” by The Beatles. A full review of which should hopefully appear here sometime very soon. As a sneak preview… the review will essentially be the two words, “bloody awesome”, expanded into several hundred.

Anyways, I hope all is groovy with you, dear reader. And let’s hope I’m back up and running for more than a few days this time.

3 comments  |  Posted in: Announcements


15
Nov 2006

Anyone still here?

Wouldn’t you know it? I’m only gone for a few weeks and yet I manage to miss the most fertile month for blogging all year. The muslim veils farrago… the Madonna adoption thing… the Iraq U-Turn (except it’s not really a U-Turn, it’s a “reassessment”, honest)… the Macca divorce… the Enron guy getting 24 years… the US elections and Rumsfeld getting sacked… climate change hitting the front pages. Politics, celebrity, war, big business; there’s even been some peak oil stuff worthy of a rant. My, how the chattering classes are chattering.

Thankfully we’re far from all that noise here on the quiet road, dear reader. It’s a virtual backwater out here. Hell, I can even write about the Israel / Palestine situation and raise nary a murmur of disapprobation, let alone the online equivalent of an outbreak of mindless violence that it would generate anywhere else on the web. Perhaps it’s the irregularity of posting or perhaps it’s the denseness of the prose. It’s hard to say. Speaking of which, may I quickly remind you that there’s a new Pynchon novel out next week. The author has provided a synopsis…

Spanning the period between the Chicago World’s Fair of 1893 and the years just after World War I, “Against the Day” moves from the labor troubles in Colorado to turn-of-the-century New York, to London and Gottingen, Venice and Vienna, the Balkans, Central Asia, Siberia at the time of the mysterious Tunguska event, Mexico during the revolution, Paris, silent-era Hollywood, and one or two places not strictly speaking on the map at all. With a worldwide disaster looming just a few years ahead, it is a time of unrestrained corporate greed, false religiosity, moronic fecklessness, and evil intent in high places. No reference to the present day is intended or should be inferred. The sizable cast of characters includes anarchists, balloonists, gamblers, corporate tycoons, drug enthusiasts, innocents and decadents, mathematicians, mad scientists, shamans, psychics and stage magicians, spies, detectives, adventuresses, and hired guns. There are cameo appearances by Nikola Tesla, Bela Lugosi, and Groucho Marx. As an era of certainty comes crashing down around their ears and an unpredictable future commences, these folks are mostly just trying to pursue their lives. Sometimes they manage to catch up; sometimes it’s their lives that pursue them. Meanwhile, the author is up to his usual business. Characters stop what they’re doing to sing what are for the most part stupid songs. Strange sexual practices take place. Obscure languages are spoken, not always idiomatically. Contrary-to-the-fact occurrences occur. If it is not the world, it is what the world might be with a minor adjustment or two. According to some, this is one of the main purposes of fiction. Let the reader decide, let the reader beware; Good luck – Thomas Pynchon.

If you’re not tingling with anticipation, you bloody well should be!

You may or may not be interested to know that I’ve resurrected my novel (The Stockhausen Manuscript) which ground to a halt a couple of months back. I’m certainly not promising anything, but this one might actually get finished. Mind you, even if I do finish it, there’s no guarantee I’ll let anyone actually read the thing.

But look, I know what you’ve really come here for. And it’s not to read me droning on about my half-written psychedelic thriller. It’s to find out what I think about stuff like the muslim veils farrago… the Madonna adoption thing… the Iraq U-Turn (except it’s not really a U-Turn, it’s a “reassessment”, honest)… the Macca divorce… the Enron guy getting 24 years… the US elections and Rumsfeld getting sacked… climate change hitting the front pages, and maybe a bit of peak oil rantiness. All of which I’ll try to cover over the next couple of weeks by way of catching up with the rest of the blogosphere.

An absence explained

Incidentally, if you’re wondering where I’ve been for all this time, the answer is “right here, but without a computer”. You see, my PC’s power supply unit (PSU) decided to die. But it didn’t want to face the recycling yard alone, so it took a few other things with it. I was in the middle of responding to an email from the groovy Tom Fourwinds who runs megalithomania (he’s just published a new book incidentally… Monu-Mental About Prehistoric Dublin) when three things occurred simultaneously. There was a loud bang, the screen went blank, and a tiny wisp of acrid smoke rose from behind my desk. It took a couple of days to replace the blackened chunk of ex-PSU at which point I realised that wasn’t the only thing wrong. A closer look at the inside of my computer revealed scary-looking char-marks on several other components including the circuit boards on all three hard-drives. Yes, even the one I’d named “backup”. It was at this point that I repeated the word “fuck” very loudly about seven or eight times. I hadn’t backed up onto shiny silver disc for a good three or four months.

Anyways, I’ve had to replace the hard-drives and the graphics card and the RAM though – bizarrely – not the motherboard or CPU. Those of you who know a bit about how PCs are put together will understand how weird that is. And I’ve lost all the writing I’ve done for the past four months or so. Although it wasn’t the most productive period of my life it’s still a serious pisser. But at least I’m back up and running and I’ll try to resume semi-regular blogging. Hopefully I’ll have caught up with the email backlog before the end of the week too. Laters y’all.

7 comments  |  Posted in: Announcements


2
Oct 2006

Brokeback to the future and incoming traffic

Deconstruction and postmodernism have a lot to answer for. Modern culture is shredding itself into smaller and smaller pieces, and recycling the sludge into a myriad new and unexpected shapes. From Hakim Bey’s wonderful essay, Immediatism

With the disappearance of a “mainstream” and therefore of an “avant-garde” in the arts, it has been noticed that all the more advanced and intense art-experiences have become recuperable almost instantly by the media, and are thus rendered into trash like all other trash in the ghostly world of commodities. Now, “Trash”, as the term was redefined in, let’s say, in Baltimore in the 1970s, can be good fun — as a sort of ironic take on a sort of inadvertent folkultur that surrounds and pervades the more unconscious regions of popular sensibility — which in turn is produced in part by the Spectacle. “Trash” was once a fresh concept, with radical potential. By now, however, amidst the ruins of Post-Modernism, it has finally begun to stink. Ironic frivolity finally becomes disgusting. Is it possible now to BE SERIOUS BUT NOT SOBER? (Note: The New Sobriety is of course simply the flip-side of the New Frivolity. Chic neo-puritanism carries the taint of Reaction, in just the same way that postmodernist philisophical irony and despair lead to Reaction. The Purge Society is the same as the Binge Society. After the “12 steps” of trendy renunciation in the ’90s, all that remains is the 13th step of the gallows. Irony may have become boring, but self-mutilation was never more than an abyss. Down with frivolity — Down with sobriety.) Everything delicate and beautiful, from Surrealism to Breakdancing, ends up as fodder for McDeath’s ads; 15 minutes later, all the magic has been sucked out, and the art itself dead as a dried locust. The media-wizards, who are nothing if not postmodernists, have even begun to feed on the vitality of “Trash,” like vultures regurgitating and reconsuming the same carrion, in an obscene ecstasy of self-referentiality. Which way to the Egress?

Hakim Bey | Immediatism

… to fanvids on YouTube in less than ten years. Even as art gets recycled as cynical capitalist propaganda, so nuggets of gold still manage to show up on the slagheap. Whatever else YouTube produces, though, has it already reached its own particular zenith? Is it soon to be replaced by the next big thing? Can it ever possibly top Brokeback To The Future? I think not.

It seems that even the most prescient of cultural commentators will soon be out of a job. No sooner do you suggest a potential direction for humanity, than you get rebuffed with a “they tried that in Japan for a while, everyone hated the shoes”. And what passes for culture is mostly commentary these days anyway. Reading some of the stuff that Leary wrote in the late 60s is like being transported to a weird alternate reality. He was perceptive enough to recognise the potential that lay in computers and communications technology. So his descriptions of the early 21st century can be eerily accurate in some ways. But then he’ll describe the social revolution he sees approaching and it all descends into a flowery psychedelic utopia. By the 1990’s it will be considered natural and, indeed, almost a social obligation for couples to take LSD together prior to getting married and raising a family. After all, argues Leary, how could you possibly know whether someone is “right” for you until you’ve tripped together?

How indeed.

Incoming!

I noticed that my cannabis prohibition piece got a mention on Tim Worstall‘s weekly BritBlog roundup. This fact came to my attention when my traffic shot up over the weekend. Of course, none of them stayed very long and I don’t expect I pick up much return visitors that way, but nice of them to stop by all the same.

Also visiting recently were some people from google, and I’m pleased to note that one of them arrived here having typed “i want a wank quick”. Of course, of all the sites on the internet, I suspect this wasn’t the one he was looking for. And on the same theme, it appears that some poor chap was hoping I’d advise him on “best way to wank”. I mean, what are you supposed to say? Avoid sandpaper? It’s hardly rocket science, kid.

The theme that generates most google hits is the carbon dioxide emissions of planes versus coaches. Which pleases me, as I know those people are finding the info they’re looking for (the blog post they arrive at has some basic introductory data and links to an authoritative PDF). I’m less clear, however, whether the person who arrived looking for “groovy multiple mocks” was happy with the information they found. And was the person who wanted “explain quiet thinking” any the wiser for having visited? Quiet thinking? Are there really people out there somewhere… thinking too loudly? And I’d love to think that I helped the person who searched for “weird wacky tourist travel strange unusual signs places road trip united states”, but sadly I doubt I did. Maybe next year.

As for the two folk who searched for “bollocks” and arrived at my blog, can I just say; “fuck you too!”

2 comments  |  Posted in: Media » Video


25
Sep 2006

25 first lines (again)

It’s the ol’ 25 first lines blog meme again. You know the drill by now; music player on random, one track per artist, no track where the title is in the first line… leave your guesses in the comments (and yes, we can all use search engines… obviously look one up if it’s bugging you, but don’t pass off the knowledge of google – or lyricsfreak.com – as your own).

  1. Some folks like to get away, take a holiday from the neighborhoodBilly Joel: New York State of MindPisces Iscariot
  2. Y’say you’re lookin’ for a place to go where nobody knows your name
  3. You’ll be… magnet for money. You’ll be… magnet for loveTalking Heads: Papa LegbaPhil
  4. Wise men say, only fools rush inElvis Presley: Can’t help falling in love – Chris Y
  5. Childhood living is easy to doThe Rolling Stones: Wild Horses – Chris Y
  6. A diamond necklace played the pawnThe Beach Boys: Surf’s UpPhil
  7. Well, you didn’t wake up this morning ‘cos you didn’t go to bedThe The: That Was The DayPhil
  8. There’s comin’ a day when the world shall melt away
  9. She had a horror of rooms, she was tired, you can’t hide beatDavid Bowie: Scary MonstersPhil
  10. When she said, don’t waste your words, they’re just liesBob Dylan: 4th time round – Chris Y
  11. Here come old flat-top, he come grooving up slowlyThe Beatles: Come Together – Chris Y
  12. It’s an idea, someday in my tears, my dreamsSyd Barrett: Dominoes – Tom Mac
  13. When all the numbers swim together and all the shadows settlePsychic TV: The Orchids – Simon
  14. We got into their little black book, so they came in a spaceship to take a look
  15. Don’t sleep ’til the sunrise, listen 2 the falling rain
  16. Hey ho, let’s go! Hey ho, let’s go! Hey ho, let’s go! Hey ho, let’s go!The Ramones: Blitzkrieg Bop – Lucas
  17. Oh my Lord, I am so bored
  18. I’d like to drop my trousers to the worldThe Smiths: Nowhere FastPhil
  19. There’s space in my car… speed you to heaven
  20. My soul is in the mountains, and my heart is in the land
  21. If I ventured in the slipstream between the viaducts of your dreamVan Morrison: Astral Weeks – Chris Y
  22. Keep your eyes on the road, your hands upon the wheelThe Doors: Roadhouse Blues – PMM
  23. I lost my heart under the bridgePJ Harvey: Down By The WaterPixie
  24. Don’t you have a word to show what may be done?Nick Drake: Way To Blue – Nick and IronMan
  25. They all see you off at some point… I was always preparedStina Nordenstam: StationsPixie

A couple of relatively obscure ones, but plenty from the main stream of my collection. Oh, and I turned off my Last.fm plugin for the duration of this. So you won’t find out any answers by checking here.

24 comments  |  Posted in: Blog meme


16
Aug 2006

Life Experiences Meme

Yeah. Another meme. Sorry about that. This time it’s from here. It’s a long list of stuff that you copy and then highlight the ones you’ve done… adding comments should you feel so inclined.

I’m not entirely sure why it caught my eye, but I’ve no intention of inflicting it on anyone else… 150 items? It’s kind of over the top. But it’s been ticking over in my ‘drafts’ for a couple of weeks, getting added to whenever I run out of steam on another piece.

So I may as well dump it on the website now before unleashing my next pseudo-philosophical musings on you my dear, long-suffering, reader. Without further ado…

  1. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
    More than once. Though usually – thank christ – in countries where you don’t need to take out a mortgage to get involved in pissed-up extravagance of that sort.
  2. Swam with wild dolphins
  3. Climbed a mountain
  4. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
  5. Been inside the Great Pyramid
    I became incredibly claustrophobic and didn’t stay long.
  6. Held a tarantula
  7. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
  8. Said ‘I love you’ and meant it
  9. Hugged a tree
    More than that, I even wrote a haiku about it… Middle-aged couple / discover me tree-hugging / all a bit awkward
  10. Bungee jumped
  11. Visited Paris
  12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
  13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
  14. Seen the Northern Lights
  15. Gone to a huge sports game
  16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
  17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
  18. Touched an iceberg
  19. Slept under the stars
  20. Changed a baby’s diaper
    It was an emergency and I was the only person available. I don’t think I did the best job in the world, but I did at least use the word “nappy” and not “diaper”. Fricking Americans!
  21. Taken a trip on a hot air balloon
  22. Watched a meteor shower
  23. Got drunk on champagne
    I no longer drink… booze just doesn’t do it for me anymore. But I’ve got the kind of curious nature that’s meant I’ve been drunk at least once (and ususally only once) on just about every drink you care to mention.
  24. Given more than you can afford to charity
    ha… ahh ha ha ha! One day I’ll tell that story.
  25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
  26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
  27. Had a food fight
  28. Bet on a winning horse
  29. Asked out a stranger
    Never got a response in the affirmative, mind.
  30. Had a snowball fight
  31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
  32. Held a lamb
  33. Seen a total eclipse
    Well, it was damn near total… ninety-something percent… London about six years ago.
  34. Ridden a roller coaster
    But man do I hate the things. I prefer to get my ‘intense experience kicks’ in other ways.
  35. Hit a home run
  36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
    Pretty much every time I’m moved to dance actually.
  37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
    I was Scottish for a day while my Scottish friend was Irish. Leastways that was the theory… I think most of the time we were both Welsh-Pakistani.
  38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
    Hell yeah! Lots and lots of moments. Without wishing to be too gloomy, it has been a fairly long while though.
  39. Had two hard drives for your computer
    Right now I’ve got three. But what’s that got to do with anything?
  40. Visited all 50 states
  41. Taken care of someone who was shit faced
    Yup. And I think… if I worked it out… I must be at least breaking even in the “had to be taken care of” Vs. “taken care of someone else” stakes (which is – as everyone knows – the only test that matters when St. Peter decides whether to let you into heaven or not).
  42. Had amazing friends
    All my friends are amazing! (you’ve no idea how far an attitude like that goes when you’re asking to borrow money).
  43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
    Yup. And I’ve danced with a foreigner in a strange country as well.
  44. Watched wild whales
  45. Stolen a sign
    A sign? ‘A’ sign, you ask? Myself and A.R. stripped an entire suburb of road signs one drunken teenage night and placed them all in a local (drained) pond. To this day I’ve no recollection of the moment we decided on that mission, but I’d love to recall the conversation that led up to it.
  46. Backpacked in Europe
    Technically every time I go to the shop.
  47. Taken a road-trip
    Starting to get a bit mundane now…
  48. Gone rock climbing
    … I mean, ever climbed some rocks? What’s that all about…? Seriously, what’s next? ‘Ever eaten some food?’
  49. Midnight walk on the beach
    Oh come on!
  50. Gone sky diving
    Ah, now we’re in better territory. Of course I’ve never gone sky-diving. I’m not a freaking nutter! The decision to jump out of a plane is – inherently – one you take as a matter of absolute last resort.
  51. Visited Ireland
    Clearly not expecting too many Irish respondents to this wee quiz.
  52. Been heartbroken for longer than when you were in love
    What? You mean it can pan out any other way? Really?
  53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
  54. Visited Japan
  55. Milked a cow
  56. Alphabetized your cds
    Oh man, you wouldn’t believe the time I’ve spent re-ordering my music collection. The male brain has an inbuilt tendency towards autism… and that’s where I let that little side of me run riot.
  57. Pretended to be a superhero
    Yes. But I was, what? 6 years old at the time?
  58. Sung karaoke
    No. And I never will. People don’t understand my objection to this… I don’t have a freakishly objectionable singing voice or anything. It’s just, when you’ve heard ‘Love Will Tear Us Apart’ butchered by an angry red-faced drunken middle-aged wino in a Cricklewood pub, the whole notion of karaoke loses its innocence and becomes something dark and unpleasant, filling your memory with little links and associations that you never asked for and can never ever escape.
  59. Lounged around in bed all day
    If whoever compiled this quiz had been really hardcore they’d have specified a week! That’d separate the men from the boys.
  60. Posed nude in front of strangers
    I posed nude (in crucifiction pose no less) for an artist when I was at college. But she wasn’t a stranger. I guess it all depends on your definition of “posed”. I was filmed by a van-load of policemen running nude across a bridge. It’d be stretching it to describe that as “posing” though.
  61. Gone scuba diving
  62. Kissed in the rain
  63. Played in the mud
  64. Played in the rain
  65. Gone to a drive-in theater
    When I was living near Chicago I hung out a few times at an old abandoned drive-in. It had an incredibly apocalyptic atmosphere and I was vibing on that at the time. Never saw a movie at a drive-in though.
  66. Visited the Great Wall of China
  67. Started a business
    More than once.
  68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
    You’re shitting me right? That really happens?
  69. Toured ancient sites
    Oh yeah, I’ve contributed to ‘tourist erosion’ at ancient sites all over the world. The Great Pyramids beat the rest hands-down. Sorry, but that’s just the way it is. I dig lots of others too, don’t get me wrong. But the pyramids are a bit fricking special.
  70. Taken a martial arts class
  71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
    Probably. But I wasn’t a D&D geek for very long before my music-geekness kicked in and I stopped having time for anything that didn’t involve loud guitars and beer.
  72. Gotten married
  73. Been in a movie
    I was an extra in some WW2 mini-series starring Kenneth Branagh. Can’t even recall the name of the thing. I was a British soldier dying in the background. I’ve also been in a couple of low-budget student films. I was credited as “The Hippy” in the first and “Stoned man” in the second. Arguably the roles didn’t stretch my acting abilities all that much.
  74. Crashed a party
    I’ve crashed a fair few parties. Though none recently.
  75. Gotten divorced
  76. Gone without food for 5 days
  77. Made cookies from scratch
    I’ve made them from other things too.
  78. Won first prize in a costume contest
  79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
  80. Gotten a tattoo
  81. Rafted the Snake River
  82. Been on television news programs as an “expert”
  83. Got flowers for no reason
  84. Performed on stage
  85. Been to Las Vegas
  86. Recorded music
  87. Eaten shark
    I was a fully fledged carnivore up until my 16th birthday. Ate a lot of stuff that makes me think “hmmmmmm, not sure about that” these days.
  88. Had a one-night stand
  89. Gone to Thailand
  90. Bought a house
  91. Been in a combat zone
    Not exactly. But we did get occasional bomb-threats in some of the countries I grew up in. My dad worked for a high-profile US corporation in some places where anti-American feeling could get violent. Mind you, this was back in the 80s… I suspect the kids attending (for instance) Cairo American College today are experiencing a whole other level of paranoid weirdness.
  92. Buried one/both of your parents
  93. Been on a cruise ship
    For all the more like ‘jazz heaven’ from Stardust Memories.
  94. Spoken more than one language fluently
  95. Performed in Rocky Horror
  96. Raised children
  97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
    And my second-favourite, and my third-favourite, and bands that probably struggle to make the top 20 these days.
  98. Created and named your own constellation of stars
  99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
  100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
  101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
  102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
    I was a motorist for about a year and a half in my late teens. Where possible I’ve done my best to avoid cars since then. However, during that brief time, it’s fair to say that I was rarely in the car without either Bowie or Talking Heads playing right at the edge of distortion volume. And it would be rare indeed if I wasn’t singing along. These days I must content myself with singing along at home… I still don’t give a toss if anyone’s looking.
  103. Had plastic surgery
  104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived.
  105. Wrote articles for a large publication
  106. Lost over 100 pounds
    Remember the dot-com boom? And the biotech boom? A chimp with smack habit could’ve made money in the stock market in the late 90s. I did anyway. Round about mid-2000 however I heard about a small UK tech start-up that was having its IPO. They were going to be the next big thing. They worked in the field of nano-grinding and I believed they were absurdly underpriced. Turns out they were absurdly overpriced. I lost a wee bit more than 100 pounds.
  107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
    Huh? Well, I’ve talked people down from some seriously bad trips. Does that count?
  108. Piloted an airplane
  109. Petted a stingray
  110. Broken someone’s heart
  111. Helped an animal give birth
  112. Won money on a T.V. game show
  113. Broken a bone
  114. Gone on an African photo safari
  115. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
    Been stabbed. Does that count?
  116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
    Never in anger I’m happy to say.
  117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
    Wellllllll….
  118. Ridden a horse
  119. Had major surgery
    That’s the only kind of surgery I’ve ever had! Minor surgery is when it’s happening to someone else (to steal a line).
  120. Had a snake as a pet
    Anyone with reptiles or insects for pets needs to deal with their issues in a more healthy way. And pet birds are pretty damn borderline. Though fishtanks I kind of understand on a purely aesthetic level. Sorry but there you have it. Pets are about companionship. Companionship implies empathy. Empathy with non-mammals is pretty fricking weird in my book. I’m not saying repressive legislation needs to be drafted to deal with these people or anything. Don’t get me wrong. I’m just suggesting they wear some form of identification so the rest of us can shun them.
  121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
  122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
  123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
  124. Visited all 7 continents
    A question restricted to the handful of scientists stationed in Antarctica. Talk about exclusive!
  125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
  126. Eaten kangaroo meat
  127. Eaten sushi
    Not high on my list of favourite foods I have to say.
  128. Had your picture in the newspaper
  129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
  130. Gone back to school
  131. Parasailed
  132. Petted a cockroach
  133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
  134. Read The Iliad and the Odyssey
  135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read their work
    Not quite sure I understand this.
  136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
    Indeed. Mackerel. I have caught, gutted and pan-fried them over an open fire.
  137. Skipped all your school reunions
  138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
  139. Been elected to public office
  140. Written your own computer language
  141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
    Sadly not in a good way.
  142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
  143. Built your own PC from parts
  144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
  145. Had a booth at a street fair
  146. Dyed your hair
  147. Been a DJ
  148. Shaved your head
  149. Caused a car accident
  150. Saved someone’s life

1 comment  |  Posted in: Blog meme


1
Aug 2006

Nick’s Walk

I’ve not plugged it yet so it’s about time I got round to it. Please head over to Justgiving and donate a few quid to Nick’s sponsored walk (John O’Groats to Land’s End). All the info you want can be gleaned from that page as well as Nick’s blog. He’s a sound guy, albeit a Lib Dem (we can’t all be perfect) and it’s a deserving cause. I’m not going to hardsell you any further though, as I know quite a few of my readers regularly give – time and money – to other ‘deserving causes’. And there’s only so much to go round. All the same, I’m pretty skint right now and I’ve bunged him a score. So if you can, then please do.

Leave a comment  |  Posted in: Opinion